Harley Family Career Education Project

Often I hear folks ask young people about what they want to "be" when they "grow up."  This is a super hard question for a kid who's in the teen years and really doesn't even know what he wants to eat for dinner (okay, who am I kidding, he wants pizza).  We've been having lots of conversations of possible careers with our kids and they are starting to put some thoughts together.  We've been exploring hard questions like:  What is more important-money or happiness?  What kind of lifestyle do you see yourself living and what are the salary requirements for that lifestyle?  Do you think it's important to do something that makes a difference in the world, or do you just want to make a paycheck?  How important is it to choose a career that you enjoy?  How much effort(education) will it take to achieve the career path that you're interested in?

 All of these questions seem like overkill for a 12 and 14 year old, but let's be honest....in the next couple of years, our oldest will be starting coursework that will eventually lead to his career.  If he wants to go into sports medicine(his current interest), then I'd say that we need to start thinking about what that entails, like NOW!  I often hear, "The sky is the limit," when talking to kids about what they want to do when they get older, but truth is, that may not be the whole truth after-all.  They sky is the limit, but it may take some planning and preparation to soar!  

So, as we're grappling with these tough questions, Ken and I had a thought.  What if we could start a career education project that allowed our kiddos to explore LOTS of different careers?  And so it began:  The Harley Family Career Education Project.

By the time they leave for college, it's our vision that they have a binder FULL of career reports to look through as they decide on coursework. We'd like to introduce opportunities for them to see the multitude of careers that are available, to explore what it takes to get "into" that career, and to talk about the benefits and trade-offs of those careers.  As they move through the project, we will be looking for opportunities for them to meet a multitude of people in various jobs.  We hope to have the chance to have some site visits, or shadowing opportunities.

And when it's all said and done, if nothing else, they will understand some of the challenges that some careers pose, and will be able to make a better decision about what they want to do or even more importantly, what they DO NOT want to do for the bulk of their working life.  We want the good, the bad and the ugly.

So, to our friends and family, expect a phone call from one of the Harley kids! We hope you'll join us in this project!  Each week the kids will be reaching out to a real live person(or people) to learn more about what they do. We're hoping that there will be opportunities to have phone interviews, meet up in person, grab a quick lunch, and more...let's make this FUN!

Here are a few things that they will be asking:
What tasks does your job entail?
What training/education is required for your job?
Favorite/Least favorite things about your job?
Salary Range (no, you don't have to give them YOUR salary...just an average for this particular career)
If you could do it again, would you choose the same job?  Why?




A big thanks in advance for those of you that will open up a few minutes of your time to share with us.  Together, we're training up the next generation and making a difference in the future of our kids!

With love,

All I want for Mothers day is......

Okay, so it’s the Saturday before mother’s day and here we are…having the conversation about what we should do, and what I “want” for Mother’s day.  So, after posting on facebook for opinions on the matter, I decided to just be blunt.   There seems to be two camps about planning for holidays, the camp that thinks that in order to honor someone one should plan activities, thoughts, words, actions, and gifts without the person of honor having to do the planning….and then there’s the camp of…tell me what you want to do and I’ll do it because I don’t want to be told what to do on my day. 
I fall in the middle, and in truth I do indeed like it when folks take the initiative to plan something special.  Even after 15 years of marriage (this fall), we’re still having this conversation…so I’ll make it easy this year.

What I want for Mother’s day.

I could say that I want things similar to a post I read earlier this week- kids who grow up to be responsible, caring, productive,  influences of society and those around them; kids that grow up to give me grandbabies and who turn into great parents, friends and professionals in the world around them.  That is ALL true.  But let me make it a little easier as the DAY of Mother’s DAY is tomorrow and it sounds like you need something a little more immediate.

So here goes-

             1-      I want to wake up in a clean house and go to bed in a clean house.

 

2-      I want for my family to go to church and Sunday school on time (dressed in outfits that do not require additional “conversation” about their appropriateness. 

3-      I want the opportunity to worship, hug necks, and spend the morning growing as a family, community, and believers.

4-      I want to do something unique for lunch after church.  This could include a bagel at the new shop, lunch with family, or a unique meal at home(in our clean house that stays clean).

5-      I want cheap flowers. I don’t need expensive flowers, but cheap flowers remind me all week that I’m someone special to someone else.  They make me happy.  I don’t need expensive gifts, cheap flowers and maybe a card or note from the kids would be nice. 

6-      I want to do something unique after lunch.  This could be going for a walk together around the lake, sitting by the pool together, or if the weather isn’t nice going to a movie together.  Really anything together.  It could also mean working together to finish the fort in the barn for the kids.  Working together can actually be fun, and checking things off my to-do list brings me happiness! 

7-      I want a nice dinner that I don’t have to cook or clean up after.  Dinner with our family circle(including local mothers)  would be nice if it can be worked in.  If it’s in the budget, steak would be my first choice since we’re fairly meat free during the week and I miss beef.     It also goes well with red wine, of which I would like to have a glass of.  Mexican would also be acceptable. 

 

     8-      I want for my children to learn that special days are worth the effort as they are an opportunity to reflect on others and their contribution in your own life.  It’s also an opportunity to serve others. 

 

    9-      I want patience….patience all around, and loving words towards each other.  I want lots of meaningful hugs, even from my teenager.  I want for us to remember that life would be so much sadder and less meaningful if any one member of our family was not a part of it.  I want for our day and year to be filled with the principles of our family theme scripture- Philippians 2. 

 

10-   I want to go to bed (in a clean house), with lots of hugs and kisses and a new reminder of what really matters my life: Faith, Love of Family, and Good Food and Wine…Motherhood.......

that’s all….what more could a mother want?  

 So, how’s that for planning? 

 

PS...Happy Mother's Day to my mom, moms in-law, and anyone else that is a mama in my world.  Have a wonderful day filled with hugs, love...and a clean house.  :)

 

 

Always growing, ever learning, much loving....

 

Big News, Big Changes......

Dear friends and family,

This is going to be a LONG post, so please don’t feel as if you have to read it all.  Really, I’m writing it for myself as I need to have all of these thoughts out in the open where I can organize them a little better than they are in my head.  I’m also writing it for our family as many of them love us and our kids, and have a true interest in some of the decisions we make and why.  This is going to come from my perspective, but please know that both Ken and I worked on this post together! 

So here goes……have you ever known in your heart and soul that something you were doing for your family just wasn’t working?  I mean, really the kind of not working that makes you wonder if you’re making a colossal mistake that could have far reaching consequences?   That’s how I’ve been living for the last few years, wondering if what we were doing and the path we were on was a giant mistake.  Dropping my sweet babies, who aren’t really babies at all any longer, off at school each morning, I wonder, is THIS right?  Is THIS what we are supposed to be doing?  Is THIS what God has planned for my family? 

Our kids go to a great school.  An “A” rated great school.  Many people try hard to get into this great school and are unsuccessful.  They would shake their heads at us for even thinking for one instance to change our kids school- or maybe they would clap their hands because we are freeing up more room for their kids.  Who knows, but I bet they would probably be shocked if they heard me say what I’m about to say:  We  left a  GREAT school, to homeschool.  There, I said it.  We are going to homeschool our children.  I can’t believe I’m writing that out loud, and really I’m starting to fight back some tears.  I’m so darn emotional about this. 

Let me go back a bit, and this is where I might lose a few of you……..  A few years ago(2009 maybe), I had the pleasure of teaching a doula workshop in the home of a homeschool family.  It was a mother-daughter doula workshop, and was an amazing few days.  Seeing as it was an out of town workshop, I was a guest in the home of the host family.  Being part of this family for 4 short days, impacted what is about to be our future life, probably more than they know.  You see, I saw it…..I saw what I wanted for my family dynamic.    I saw that it was possible to have children who respected others, who were kind to others, who understood their parent’s influence in their future.  I saw 4 teen and pre-teen siblings that were kind to each other, that didn’t fight, yet worked together.  Not only did I see this family dynamic play out in this one household, the other participant families in my workshop also showed me a different way of being. 

Thus began my research and interest in homeschooling.  Although this may seem to be a totally rash decision to some of you, it’s not irrational at all.  It was a long process of thinking, praying, researching, reading, talking to others and more.  There are so many reasons TO pull the kids from traditional school and very few not to.  The list of PROS far outweigh the list of CONS…but really the bottom line is- We believe that this is what’s BEST for our family at THIS time in our lives.  For us, for now, this just feel right!    We have recognized that although our kids went to an “A” school, it doesn’t matter if we’re all miserable at home.

So here are a few reasons that we’re making a switch.  I fully recognize that these reasons may not justify our reasoning in the readers eye…just as some of the decisions that others make I can’t understand.  I know that many people will support our decision, and many will at a minimum think we’re making a monumental mistake, or have gone off the deep end.   I get it.  Sometimes I worry that we’re making a monumental mistake, those fears are normal-or so I’m told.  

 1^st- We have realized that we don’t like what the dynamic of school life does to our family.  Eating, breathing, and sleeping school is not working for us.  It works for LOTS of families, just not ours, right now.  When I say eating/breathing/sleeping school....I mean we wake and talk about school, in the car-we talk about school, afterwards- we talk about school, then there’s homework and preparing and talking about the next day at school.  Our day from 6am to 8pm literally revolves around school-most often it’s stressful and not very pleasant.  At times, we have yelling parents, crying kids….just being REAL…this is not working for our family.   

 I crave time with my kids that is not about school.  I want family time, I want devotional time, I just want more hang time.  I want to teach my daughter to cook, to clean(yeah, fun I know), to love others. I want to teach her to strive hard and far for her goals, to set her standards in academia high, and to really explore what she wants for her future career or life. I want to teach her that there’s no limit to what she wants to do.   I want to teach her to be a lady, to be a friend and to one day be a woman, wife, mother, and leader-and that’s just the start.    We have such a short amount of time left with them at home, and I want to cherish these moments and to really teach them morals and values as well as tools that will help get them through the rest of their lives.  I don’t want to count the passing days and then wonder where they all went in 10 years.  I want to be intentional about what we’re teaching and why we’re teaching it.  I want my son to know how to wash, dry and fold a load of laundry.  I want him to know how to cook, and clean(yes, fun, I know), and to care for his family.  I want him to know what it means to work hard and to provide for his family, what it means to be a friend to others, what it means to do work that causes you to sweat a little.   I want him to know that he can reach great things, and can do great things if he sets high goals and works hard.  And above all else, I want them to know LOVE….love of family, love of each other and the Love of God.  When we’re on the hamster wheel of school, there’s just so little time to teach anything else……

I(we) don’t like what being in school does TO my kids.  I don’t mean I don’t like what they learn….I mean, they are different people when they are at school, and I don’t like it.  Gosh, that sounds horrible, but it’s true.  With that said, let me be honest and say that our kids peers that they are close to are amazing young people….and we are thankful to have them in our lives.  I hope and pray that we can continue their relationships, and we will be deeply saddened if those relationships suffer.  BUT, there are so many other influences within the system that are not positive or productive for growing character and teaching our kids how to be a productive, caring, kind, generous adult. 

Here’s an example of what I mean- over Christmas break, we spent a lot of family time together.  We traveled; played games, worked together, cooked together, watched movies…you know we were a family together.  My kids were actually playing together, being kind to one another and helping one another; fighting was at a minimum.  They were living and breathing what we want for our family.  Two days back in school and BAM- nastiness and competitiveness, rivalry, and laziness emerge.  YUCK. The fights started again and the kids started to regard their sibling as the “evil one.”    This was probably the first time that I felt the- we have to change something voice grow from a whisper to a scream in my head. 

2^nd – Our kids WANT to homeschool.  Seriously.  We have had multiple conversations with them and they really, really want to homeschool.  They don’t want the pressures that going to school has brought.  They don’t want the social pressures (girl drama, need I say more), or other pressures.  They were both in 110% agreement that this is what they wanted to do.  We talked for hours about this decision.  We had a pros/cons meeting with them.  We flushed it out from here to heaven.  They want to do it.  They are excited about it.  We talked about things they would miss out on, and they still want to do it.  We have to listen to our children, they are amazing human beings and we respect their position.  We don’t always go along with their decisions…most of the time we don’t, but right now, for our family, this just feels right. 

3- We have found a wonderful supplement to help us with academics  at home- FLVS. Read- mom doesn’t have to take on all curriculum planning and teaching responsibilities- there’s help!  The Florida Virtual School is just that, a virtual school.  Basically, it’s a school on the computer; their slogan is any pace, any time, anywhere…or something like that.  Attending virtual school along with supplemental classes will afford our kids as good of an academic education as they would have in a brick and mortar school.  They will be able to attend college(actually, they’ll probably be ready to attend before we’re ready for them to), they will be bright futures eligible, they can even continue to play sports at the local schools. The research is new for virtual learning as this concept is just really gaining momentum, but it’s actually been around since the 90s.  More and more families are turning to virtual learning, and the numbers are good.  The statistic that stood out to me most was the AP course test scores.  FLVS  students scored higher than public school students on AP level exams.  As a wise friend once told me, it’s important to compare apples to apples..and I believe the AP comparison IS apples to apples. In addition to the AP statistics, there are many others that support virtual learning!!   To read the entire flvs tax watch report or to learn about FLVS visit:   Florida Tax Watch Report  or www.flvs.net

FLVS is a great program and we are excited to be involved!  We took a few courses over the last summer with great success!  The kids learned, they had highly educated (almost 2/3 with masters or higher) teachers holding them accountable and available one on one, it worked.  Now, as it turns out, that was actually a learning experience.  We learned a lot of how to NOT homeschool.  I learned that my very type-A personality needs a little routine and structure.  I need for the kids to understand the expectation and for us to allow them the space to meet those expectations.   I’m constantly reminded that God knows what we’re going to do before we’re going to do it, and I’m grateful for the summer experience to prepare us for today. 

4- We believe in the philosophy of the virtual school.  It’s a flipped classroom idea (see Khan 60 Minutes report ).  Instead of the idea that teachers present and then kids go home to practice on their own; actually, kids learn on their own and THEN teachers enter to tutor and make sure they understand.  The philosophy also allows me to be an interactive parent in their school not a reactive parent.  Normally, when one child struggles on say a history test, I wouldn’t know until afterwards…and it’s too late.  With virtual, it’s the opposite.  I know what’s going on when it’s going on and the teacher has done an in depth discussion based assessment to make sure that the student is ready for the test.  When a child takes a test, there’s NO reason it shouldn’t be a good grade!! 

5- To many it may seem like we are sheltering our kids, honestly, we’re sheltering our kids.  Yes, we are minimizing their exposure to some risky teen behaviors.  Aren’t we all scared to death of our kids becoming addicted to one substance or another or contracting a deadly STD?  How about the recent influx of violence in schools, don’t we all just want to keep our kids safe?   Yes, of course.  School is different than it was 20 years ago…the substances are more dangerous, the behaviors riskier, the bullying is out of control.  Yes, we do want to shelter them, and it’s okay, because, for us, for now, it just feels right!  I don’t want my kids to have to go to a school where drills for a “potential shooter in the building” take place.   I know that one day I can’t shield them from much of that and they’ll have to make their own decisions, but for now, I can…..a little.  Who knows if this will backfire- Lord, I pray that it doesn’t. 

6- And this is not the last reason, but I wanted to finish with it.  We are a Christian family.  We believe that God wants good things for us and puts the right people in our path at the right time.  We have prayed about this(I understand that for some prayer is a mute point, but for us, it’s essential to our way of life), and we feel that for now, for us, this is just right.  We feel called and supported in this decision.  We feel we are in line with God’s Will for our family.  For US, for now, it just feels right. 

So, in closing, we do not believe that what we are going to do is what everyone should do, to the contrary, We believe it is something that is not right for every family.   We know this is not what is “normal”, but it is actually becoming more “normal”.   

We want our loved ones to know that we are committed to socializing our kids with their peers.  We commit to making sure they have plenty of friend time.  We know that if they aren’t in class with friends, they need to be with them outside of class.  We get it, and we take the challenge.  We will make sure they are involved in all kinds of group, sports, classes and other opportunities! 

  Are we weird, maybe, but do we love our kids more than life itself…absolutely.  We want what’s best for them and would never do anything to harm them.  They are our lives.  We live and breathe each day right now knowing that they are a true gift from God and we do not take the responsibility of being their parents lightly.  I can’t tell you what the next year will bring but all I can tell you is that……

  For us, for now, this, homeschooling, just feels right.

We would be so grateful for your love and acceptance as we transition.  This doesn’t mean we don’t want to hear your concerns or thoughts.  We do.  We are learning and working and we believe it takes a village. Maybe you’ve thought of something for us to ponder that we haven’t.   We invite you to talk to us about it.

 And lastly-We promise to stay the same ole Harleys…..hopefully a little more patient and friendly with each other, Harleys.  We love you and thank God that you are in our lives.    

To God Be The Glory.

With Love,

Ken and Melissa